Successful humiliation sessions don’t just happen, but if you follow the three simple tips I’ve laid out below, odds are your next session will be a wonderfully memorable experience for you.
These tips hold true for any type of session, but they are especially important in a humiliation dynamic. Here, if you hold back the information the Mistress needs to satisfy you, you can suffer some unwanted emotional bruising. That is not what you are looking for as part of a satisfying sexual experience!
Tip #1: Successful Humiliation Sessions Require That You Know What You Do And Don’t Enjoy
The most important thing going in to a session is to know what you want as much as possible.
Here are five areas to consider.
Know How You Define Humiliation
This may sound obvious, but not everyone experiences humiliation in the same way or feels humiliated by the same things.
You may be incredibly turned on by Small Penis Humiliation (SPH), but someone else’s arousal may vanish if a Mistress even hints that his cock is too small. Or maybe someone else would feel deeply satisfied by wearing a collar while you would feel instantly turned off by that.
Know The Words and Phrases That Turn You On–And What Turns You Off
Most of us have specific words or phrases that thrill us and make our knees weak. For you it might be a word such as “loser” or it might be a phrase such as “On your knees, slut.” If there are certain words or phrases that will tip you over the edge, make a note of what they are so she knows how to best control you. She might even use them to edge and then deny you!.
Also, think carefully about words or phrases that DON’T work for you and actually turn you off. This is almost as important as knowing what turns you on.
Know The Tone of Voice That Works
Tone of voice is an often under-rated resource. It matters significantly for most people, even if they don’t realise it, and it’s something you should consider.
You might turn into jelly by a smooth, sensual voice cooing humiliating words and phrases in your ear. On the other hand, maybe nothing gets you hotter than a harsh voice barking commands. Or maybe the tone of voice varies depending on your mood. Just be aware of your needs.
Know The Actions That Turn You On
Do you love when a Mistress tells you to suck a dildo or to use a butt plug? That’s great! .It’s also great if these aren’t your cup of tea. The more you know about your kinks, the better your chances of a satisfying session.
Once you have done a session or two with a Mistress, you’ll probably start to get more comfortable with her. When this happens, it’s good to leave room to experiment and possibly consent to have her push your soft limits a little. You might be surprised by what you learn you enjoy when you try.
Know The Scenarios That Turn You On
If you’re roleplaying with your Mistress, you likely will tell her in advance about your preferred scenario. You might include a greater or lesser degree of detail.
However, make equally sure that you tell her what you DON’T want to include. If you will go limp at the thought of coerced bisexuality or being watched by others, even in your imagination, make sure she knows that too. There are many ways for her to exercise her imagination even with a detailed scenario–just make sure she knows your limits.
Tip #2 Communicate Thoroughly With The Mistress
It’s no surprise that in humiliation play, as with other forms of play and interactions, the keys to a satisfying experience are self-knowledge and communication as well as an openness to experimentation.
There are many ways to communicate all of the above to your Mistress. Pick whichever one of the following works for you:
- Pre-Session Questionnaire: not all Mistresses have these on their sites, but if they do (such as this one), this can be a great way to capture all the detail you should tell her
- Email: this works too! You can send her all the detail as you would in the questionnaire, maybe even more
- “Get To Know You” call: you might decide to have a non-play call where you describe what you do and don’t enjoy. These calls are very useful not only to introduce yourself but also to get the sense from talking with her whether you would feel comfortable in a session with her–it’s possible you just don’t feel a click with her
- a quick intro at the beginning of the call where you’d like to play: these work as well as the Mistress is very likely experienced enough to tease out what works for you and what doesn’t
Tip #3 Try To Leave Time In Your Session For Aftercare
Humiliation sessions can be more intense than other types of kink, so it’s a good plan to allow for some time coming down. It’s tempting to just finish and immediately hang up, but consider not rushing off. Not only does this mean booking enough time to include this, but also telling your Mistress at the beginning of the session that you’d like some time for aftercare.
Let her know what you’d like by way of aftercare. For example, you might like her to talk to you or maybe you’d prefer that she simply sits with you. There are many different options, so tell her what you think would be best for you.
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I think that if you take these three tips to heart, you are in line for some very successful humiliation sessions.
If you would like to know my approach to humiliation sessions, check out my profile of myself as a Mistress. Feel free to get in touch if you have any questions.
Thanks for reading! Until next time, stay sexy and stay safe.
Mistress Sascha, Kink Blogger
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