High Protocol:  is that a strange term for you?  It was for several of the listeners on Femdom Fridays a few weeks ago.

Recently I was on an episode of Femdom Friday where the topic was “Once In A Blue Moon” where all of the participating Mistresses spoke about what we would do . . . once in a blue moon.  A blue moon occurs when a full moon happens three times in a month, and in that month (May 2026) there was a blue moon, so the topic was apt.

When it was my turn to speak, I said that something I would do once in a blue moon would be High Protocol.  It’s not normally something I’m interested in as I’m a pretty laid back Mistress, but if a sub was interested in such a session or if I thought they needed to learn it, I could certainly do it.  As the term caused some confusion for some of the listeners, I thought I’d write a blog post about it.

Protocol In General

Before I talk about High Protocol specifically, I’d like to set the stage by talking briefly about protocol in general.

Protocol is simply a codified set of rules of behaviour that focusses on showing courtesy and respect.  In its most basic form, it’s  everyday manners.  It could be something as simple as waiting until everyone attending a meal is seated before picking up your fork.

In a more formal sense, it can dictate how members of a royal family are treated (e.g. by being curtsied to by one of their subjects) or a ranking officer of the armed forces being saluted..

Protocol In BDSM

There are various levels of protocol in a BDSM dynamic. If you are interacting with a Dominant at any level (other than a casual meetup such as a munch), you may already be expected to display whatever low-level form of respect the Dominant requires.  This can be as simple as addressing her with “Mistress” or “Goddess.”

On a higher level of protocol, where the expectations of the Dominant are that more and more ways of showing respect are in order.  The more rules there are to follow, the higher the level of protocol.  Here are just a few of the ways a Dominant can expect a submissive to behave:

• the submissive may need to kneel unless serving the Dominant
• the Dominant may forbid the submissive from speaking without permission
• the Dominant may walk in front of the submissive
• the submissive may not position themselves so their back is to the Dominant

Each relationship will work out its own definition of what is expected.  Please understand that you as a submissive need to truly accept the expectations and if for some reason you find them impossible to work with, you need to speak up to let your Dominant know.  Perhaps the posture required is painful or perhaps one of the actions is humiliating (and humiliation is a hard limit for you).  Or there could be many other reasons.  If so, let your Dominant know!  Communication is key here as it is everywhere.

Also, even if you enjoy high protocol, it doesn’t need to be a 24/7 experience.  Perhaps you and your Dominant only take part in it occasionally, such as on weekends or during a dinner party while you are serving the Dominant.

Should You Experiment With It?

Not every Dominant or submissive wants or needs to take part in a high protocol experience.  However, you might want to try it for several reasons.  Perhaps you simply want to know what it is like.  Perhaps your Dominant thinks you need to take part in it as part of your training.  Or perhaps it satisfies a deep craving within you to not only be submissive, but to demonstrate that you know that you are subordinate to your Dominant.

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